55 Reflections and Lessons as I Turn 55
Faith, Family, Leadership, and Life Through a Biblical Lens
I turn 55 years old this month.
So I decided to list 55 reflections and lessons that have stuck with me through my journey so far. After all, Socrates famously said: “An unexamined life is a wasted life.”
It is certainly not everything I’ve ever learned.
It is a curated list. It is not a particular order of importance. They have all significantly impacted me, and I wish to pass a long to you.
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Introduction and Disclaimer:
While doing this exercise, I’ve realized not only what has stuck and rung true for my life and God’s work in it, but also what has dropped off and that He has pruned out of my life. I can attest that boxer Muhammad Ali is right when he said, “The man who views the world at 50 the same as he did at 20 has wasted 30 years of his life.”
For a list like this, at first, I was nervous I wouldn’t have enough. In the end, I had more than expected.
As you read this list and notice the spectrum of people I quote, Christian or others, understand that I have been ministered to or challenged with the heart of what they say, even though some of their theological conclusions, or conduct, I would not condone today. I simply want to give credit where credit is due.
Be on the lookout through the list for footnotes and links to resources. Click the footnote or the underlined text to go deeper
LOOKING FOR YOUR INPUT
Comment below on what lessons and reflections hit you from this list.
GOD
God’s Grace has made me gracious with others. When I truly understood and experienced the feeling of God’s gracious pardon and patience with me, I became more gracious to others.
I was unplanned by my parents. Not unloved, just unexpected. Yet God was aware, and He was providential and prepared me for his plan.
Learn quickly that God is the potter and that we are the clay. It will both humble you and set you free.
We live in God’s world that He narrates. The sooner we learn that, the better.
The Jesus of History is the Christ of Scripture. This is settled. He is my Savior, Lord, and King. He has saved me by grace alone through his blood and not by anything I bring to our relationship. I’m not who I am today without Him. He is my all in all. For that, I stand in awe, gratitude, joy, and submission.
God owns everything. There is not one thing I have that has not come from His Hand. I am a steward of what he has provided
God uses problems to direct you, to detect the condition of your heart, to discipline you, to defend you from unknown danger, to develop maturity in you, and finally to display His Glory, which is the bottom-line purpose in all the ways God uses your problems, pain, and suffering.
“Fear of the Lord means that I carry around with me such a deep awareness, awe, and reverence for the power, holiness, wisdom, and grace of God that I would not think of doing anything other than living for his glory.” - Paul David Tripp
This quote inspired:
To exercise a deep awareness of God’s power, holiness, wisdom, and grace by honoring His All-Knowing Presence in our lives.
To exercise a deep awe of God’s power, holiness, wisdom, and grace by trusting God’s Ever-Powerful Providence.
To exercise a deep reverence for God’s power, holiness, wisdom, and grace by admiring His Most Holy Personhood. 1
BIBLE
J.I. Packers quote on meditation is the greatest quote on meditation of all time. Read the whole thing below. I find myself returning to the line that says, “it is, indeed, often a matter of arguing with oneself, reasoning oneself out of moods of doubt and unbelief into a clear apprehension of God’s power and grace.”2
The attributes of Scripture are best remembered as The ABC’S of Scripture: Authoritative, Biblically inerrant, Clear, Sufficient. 3
Ephesians chapter 2 is the Gospel chapter. Learn it, understand it, memorize it, meditate. It will change your life.
Romans 8 is known as the Mount Everest of the Bible. Learn it, understand it, memorize it, meditate. It will change your life.
You will not know the power of the gospel without knowing how powerless you are. “But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8
“The aim is never to become a master of the Word, but to be mastered by it.” - D. A. Carson. This keeps my posture under Scripture, not above it.
LIFE & GODLINESS
I settled my Questions of Faith early. Yet, clarity on some answers came later.
I realized and accepted I was a late bloomer. Once I did, I was kinder to myself (and eventually others).
This life is not about me.4 This truthful work is still in progress
The Lord has guided me more through closed doors than open ones. Man makes a plan, God determines the steps—I’ve had to learn the hard way.
Church Swindoll’s quote about attitude is the greatest quote on attitude of all time. I have footnoted the whole quote below. What has stood out for me is the line that says, “I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me, and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you... We are in charge of our Attitudes.”5
“Do what you must to conquer lust” - by John Piper. Which inspired this acronym and strategy
Make no provision for your flesh.
Understand your triggers.
Succeed through established steps
Train your thoughts
Always Work H.A.R.D.= Honor God. Add value to people. Respect co-workers. Do more than expected.6
I found my sense of humor when I experienced the deeper grace of God in my life. Not that I never laughed or had one before. It is that freedom of the gospel that set me free to not take myself so seriously. It changed me.
Life is too short to work with a bad pen. I have contrasting thoughts on the matter. One is to splurge on a good, expensive pen. The other is never to overlook a cheaper good pen.
To honor God is to act in humble ways that acknowledge Him. - Eric Mattie
When I gave up legalistic boundaries and embraced the gospel lifestyle, I was a better father.
Your feelings maybe real but they are not always true.
Reading, writing, and arithmetic are foundational for growth in children and adults.
Understanding temperament style and observing where I fall in those categories grew my confidence in who I was. Not so much an ego boost, but rather a sense of “I’m not so strange” and “I’m wired a certain way” that helped normalize my identity.
The following statement is not a formal doctrinal position for me. It’s more of a “tongue in cheek” lesson; Pray for Pre and Prepare for Post. I’ve shifted in this End Times stance over the years as my theology has evolved and matured. Not from one interpretation to another. But from a first-tier essential theological category to a third-tier personal conviction category. It has calmed my questions, deepened my trust, helped my study of Scripture, and increased my love for others.
Spiritual gifts tests are helpful to a degree. But never let them box in who God is calling you to become. Step out of your comfort zone and obey when fearful, difficult, or simply something new and different
Grasp your learning style and apply it to everything.
Celebrate your birthday. Celebrate your life. You are worth celebrating, for you are fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of God. It’s not about age or a number. It’s about the unique human being you are.
Be gracious with co-workers. You never know what they’re going through.
The Reality of your Problems: we live in a broken world, you are not perfect, a real enemy fights you, God’s plans are probably different than your plans.7 - Paul David Tripp
You can have a midlife clarity instead of a midlife crisis. Here’s my clarity to ward off any crisis in my life: Live for God’s glory through…
Loving Better both God and Man- with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength, and consider others better than you.
Living Bigger than For Yourself-live for God’s glory and seek first His kingdom,
Being Wiser - than yesterday and in the Fear of the Lord
Not Wasting Your Life- Consider Your Days and live Coram Deo, Carpe Diem (before the face of God, seize the day) “Only one life,’ twill soon be past, Only what’s done for Christ will last. - C.T. Studd
Be on the outside, what You Are on the inside8 Be putting on the character of Christ, what you are in your union with Christ. This is the outcome of Romans 13:14
Those closest to me shape who I become. I care that those closest to me have respect for me. For me, friends are family, and family are friends.
I love music from many genres. Music affects our moods. Lyrics influence our thoughts on life. Be discerning
Garbage in, garbage out applies in many realms of life. Stay alert.
Andre Yee’s quote on boring work has revolutionized. The way I see some of my boring tasks. See the whole paragraph below. But here is what pierced my heart: “We are called to shape the world we live in, to bring order to it. … When we carry out these monotonous tasks with joy, we exercise order in a world rendered disorderly by sin, and we reflect the faithfulness of our Father. We are God’s agents in tending this world that we live in. “9
“Prayer is both an encounter and a conversation with God.” — Tim Keller. His book on Prayer is the best I’ve read. It has reshaped how I look at and enjoy prayer10
“The moment has been prepared for,” is not only my favorite line from Classic Doctor Who; it is my favorite truth when I embraced that the Triune God is supreme and sovereign over everything, working everything out for His own glory and our ultimate good.
“Sin complicates matters.” — Richard Hanner. Simple line, but it has stayed with me because of how true it is in real life and pastoral counseling.
“Feed it, Watch it Grow. Starve it Watch it Die.” — Dennis Lindsay. A simple but unforgettable principle about spiritual discipline and habits.
LEADERSHIP
Learn the importance of failing forward: You don’t give up. You get back up. You wise up. Practical step: Learn how to do all three by purchasing Failing Forward and Sometimes You Win, and Sometimes You Learn. Both from John C. Maxwell
When I learned how to lead from the middle, I realized that it is the Lord’s role for me. I seem to always be placed in a secondary or support role. That was hard for me to sit in and embrace. Yet when I read the 360 Leader by John Maxwell and took stock in how to lead in the middle, I became more content and enjoyed my role. The reason is that I saw it more naturally as an outgrowth of who I was.
Cultivating change takes buy-in. This is true in every sphere of life. For sure, pray and plan. But realize if proper buy-in time is not allotted, the acceptance of change may not happen.
“Leadership is influence—nothing more, nothing less.” - John C. Maxwell
For more daily encouragement check out my Notes Stream
where you’ll get thoughts like this:
FAMILY
My wife Melanie is the love of my lifetime. Truly a woman out of my league. The adventure of marriage to her I would never trade for anything. We live, laugh, and love more than we deserve. It is only by the grace of God.
My children, Josh Allison and Grace, are so much further in life than I was at their age. Again, that is a gift of God’s grace to Melanie and me. They are my blessing and twin treasures. I’ve intentionally enjoyed and embraced every age and season they are in.
Men need to lead their wives and family emotionally just as intentionally as they should lead them spiritually. Guys set the emotional tone more than they realize. 1 Peter 3:7 says: “Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.”
Since fathers (all parents actually)) truly do represent God to their children, I worked hard to parent from that viewpoint, the second half of their childhood. I worked at being compassionate, gracious, slow to anger, abounding in faithful love and truth, forgiving when needed, and punishing with compassion. All attributes found in Deuteronomy 34:6,7
“Happy House, Happy Spouse” is better than “Happy wife, happy life.”
Three C's every couple should pray for in their marriage: Christ-Centered, Communication & Commitment. See the life & godliness article here.
I hope you enjoyed the list!
Let me know which reflection or lesson stood out to you.
Drop the numbers of your favorites in the comments below. I’d love to know which ones hit a chord.
Share with someone who could use encouragement.
Until next time, Keep Living for one glory- Glorifying God in all you do.
Blessings in Christ,
Eric
Further thoughts are found in a sermon entitled “To Fear the Lord”. You can find it in the Premium Content Library.
Full Quote From Packer:
Meditation is the activity of calling to mind, and thinking over, and dwelling on, and applying to oneself, the various things that one knows about the works and ways and purposes and promises of God. It is an activity of holy thought, consciously performed in the presence of God, under the eye of God, by the help of God, as a means of communication with God. Its purpose is to clear one’s mental and spiritual vision of God, and to let His truth make its full and proper impact on one’s mind and heart. It is a matter of talking to oneself about God and oneself; it is, indeed, often a matter of arguing with oneself, reasoning oneself out of moods of doubt and unbelief into a clear apprehension of God’s power and grace. Its effect is ever to humble us, as we contemplate God’s greatness and glory, and our own littleness and sinfulness, and to encourage and reassure—‘comfort’ us, in the old, strong, Bible sense of the word—as we contemplate the unsearchable riches of divine mercy displayed in the Lord Jesus Christ.”
Further thoughts are found in a sermon titled “Be Wise and Apply the Word.” You can find it in the Premium Content Library.
You may recognize that these are the first words in the book, “The Purpose Driven Life” by Rick Warren. Many have taken issue with this book and its author since its publication. In my early pastoral years, I’ve been equipped and encouraged by Warren’s initial pulpit ministry. This book was central to it. Over time, I have understood the issues and the shortcomings it contained. I have never held popular pastors as celebrities who can do or say no wrong. I’ve never idolized any man over the one True Savior of my life, Jesus Christ, the Son of God. I’ve also learned over the years not to throw the baby out with the bathwater. The book was encouraging yet fallible, not eternal nor the final word. This quote about who is God keeps me humble and in check from the once young, arrogant man I was. However, I do not believe Warren is the originator of this phrase, therefore I don’t fully credit him with it, but appreciate that he spotlights it for millions who follow him.
Fuller Quote from Swindoll:
“Words can never adequately convey the incredible impact of our attitude toward life. The longer I live, the more convinced I become that life is 10 percent what happens to us and 90 percent how we respond to it…. I believe the single most significant decision I can make on a day-to-day basis is my choice of attitude. It is more important than my past, my education, my bankroll, my successes or failures, fame or pain, what other people think of me or say about me, my circumstances, or my position. Attitude keeps me going or cripples my progress. It alone fuels my fire or assaults my hope. When my attitudes are right, there’s no barrier too high, no valley too deep, no dream too extreme, no challenge too great for me." (Charles R. Swindoll, Strengthening Your Grip (Minneapolis: World Wide, 1982), pp. 206, 207.)
Also have good Work E.T.H.I.C. Energy and Enthusiasm, Teachable and Trainable, Humble and Honoring, Interested and Involved, and Continue to Grow.
Further thoughts are found in a sermon entitled The Reality of Your Problems. You can find it in the Premium Content Library.
Further thoughts are found in a sermon entitled Living out your Life in Christ. You can find it in the Premium Content Library.
Grace for Monotonous Work. Full article here
Check out this webinar on Resetting Your Prayer Life Today! in the Premium Content Library.